Monday, 29 September 2008

Thou Shalt Not...

Well, dear reader. As if world poverty, global warming, a nose-diving economy, and drug banditry (not forgetting homosexuality, of course - I'm sure there's a Freudian explanation for their excessive interest) weren't enough,my employers have seen fit to draw up a list of the Ten Blogging Commandments. I kid you not! You can read all about it here. (By the way, isn't that clever, eh? I inserted that hyper-link all on my own! Oh damn, that's commandment number one gone already.)

Anyway, for anyone with an inordinate amount of time to spare (oh no - number five!) here is the full list. I dread to think how many years of purgatory I must now endure as a result of coveting dear Felicia.

1 You shall not put your blog before your integrity
2 You shall not make an idol of your blog
3 You shall not misuse your screen name by using your anonymity to sin
4 Remember the Sabbath day by taking one day off a week from your blog
5 Honour your fellow-bloggers above yourselves and do not give undue significance to their mistakes
6 You shall not murder someone else's honour, reputation or feelings
7 You shall not use the web to commit or permit adultery in your mind
8 You shall not steal another person's content
9 You shall not give false testimony against your fellow-blogger
10 You shall not covet your neighbour's blog ranking. Be content with your own content!

19 comments:

Gadjo Dilo said...

That's some solid advice, Mr Can Bass. It's "coming a loving place", I'm sure, and don't forget that your integrity is up at the top there :-)

The Poet Laura-eate said...

I adore this list!

But I fear I have broken one or two already.

D'ya think they'll still let me into heaven?

Crabtree said...

To present itself under a worthy appearance and by courtesy ( Bonjours! My name is Didier my nickname is crabtree name which gave me a blogueuse godmother ...)

I have no claim ! I am only a reader , I am anxious to congratulate you on your integrity !

This list is exhaustive and restrictive, in other words, What does not appear does not there take place to be ?

Can Bass 1 said...

Beg pardon?

Doshea3 said...

Purgatory? I doubt those evangelical types even considered that for your punishment, Mr Can Bass. I'd say go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred pounds.

Susan said...

Whew. Good thing I'm Jewish. I can do whatever I want with my blog and secret identity because hey, we're the chosen people, heh heh. ;) Off I go to blogsin.

Rob Clack said...

Now that was very unfair. I followed the link to the TimesOnLine site, then another to What Darwin said on the topic of God and before I knew it I was first reading someone's blog about the terrifying Ms Palin and then watching someone called Miller taking apart the ID crowd on YouTube. And now where's my day gone? I've hardly done anything today, and I hold you, CB1, personally to blame! So there!

Kitty said...

"Remember the Sabbath day by taking one day off a week from your blog"

Don't they realise the hideous withdrawal symptoms that would be induced by the above?

x

Kevin Musgrove said...

I need to work some adultery into my blogging.

Chance would be a fine thing!

Brother Tobias said...

Hmm. Some pretty far-fetched distortion of the Commandments to fit that particular theme. I'd advise the Evangelical Alliance not to mess with them; their provenance is sounder than anything that body could ever aspire to come up with. And much better written.

Lavinia said...

Who knew blogging was such a minefield of sin! And here I was thinking we were a rather tame, mild mannered bunch...

East Anglian Troy said...

Thanks for calling by my blog and lending your support!

I like this posting - a modern Moses and His Memory Stick.

having my cake said...

Ah well, I may be a fallen woman in terms of Nos 3 and 7, but the ethos of the others is very close to my heart. Maybe eight out of ten will be enough to qualify for Purgatory rather than Hell...

auntiegwen said...

Well, that's me fecked then

Suburbia said...

Love it!

Barry Teeth, Beet Poet said...

Bloody god botherers. Leave the internet to us modern people.

DJ Kirkby said...

There is a wholoe world out there that I never knew existed!

Paul (A.) said...

I still haven't figured out how one could possibly "use the web to . . . permit adultery in [one's] mind": Does one somehow let the fornicators in but not participate oneself?

Z said...

Paul, do you not remember the confession of President Carter, when he said he had often committed adultery in his mind?

I don't think I can give an assurance of innocence in that regard. I have too often flirted when in the Land of Blog - though not when meeting fellow bloggers. And I break the 4th Blogging Commandment almost every week. Purgatory for me too, I fear. But what is purgatory for bloggers? Like Tantalus, be condemned to have one's mouse just out of reach and the keyboard slide from one's fingertips? Or maybe we'd be allowed to type brilliantly witty and clever posts, but every time we pressed 'publish' they would disappear and we'd be unable to remember just what we'd written.