Monday, 16 February 2009

University Challenge

I have, again, wasted thirty minutes which could usefully have been spent financially-assisting the landlord of Ye Olde Wisdom of Solomon watching the most ridiculous so-called quiz on British, nay, world television. Whoever conceived of the nonsense of gathering teams of university students together and asking them the most arcane so-called general knowledge questions ought to be subject to a solo half-hour grilling from the archbishop of arrogance himself, Mr Jeremy Paxman. And then taken out and shot.

Fortunately, next on the moving television machine is that most erudite of shows, the Book Quiz (which I can now receive thanks to the donation of something called a set-top free-to-air receiving machine from one of the choral scholars). Ah, questions about books, and poets, and thing that matter rather than the number of digits with a common initial letter or the value of 'x' if p is equal to the square root of 7 and the score at half-time was 0-0. I mean. What possible use can such knowledge ever be? And even if it has some practical application in a dark and dismal corner of human endeavour, it should stay firmly hidden and not paraded on the television screen for all to see.


And another thing. Half the bloody teams are Irish! Who keeps letting Jonny Foreigner take up valuable space in our most hallowed groves of academe, for goodness sake? I'll tell you who. Bloody money-grabbing vice-chancellors. I am particular bitter about this at the present time, as we have had 'foisted' upon us by the Prime Minister a recently-retired university vice-chancellor as Dean-elect of this cathedral. So, expect an influx of Gaelic clergy and musicians, doing unto us what they have so successfully done to English seats of learning everywhere. Thankfully, at least a nice English team from my own alma mater - Oxford - won this evening's competition. And captained by a lovely little girl with more than a hint of the young Felicia. And, my word, is she hot on the button! I shall no doubt tune in next Monday evening to see how she gets on. But in the meantime, I have an urgent financial bail-out plan to execute at the pub. Toodle-pip!


9 comments:

The Poet Laura-eate said...

Ah, University Challenge - thanks for reminding me CB1 - my viewing world has recently shrunk to 'Lark Rise to Candleford' even though the current series is riddled with historical inaccuracies and hasn't been within a mile of the original book!

Love the picture - could easily offend the newly redundant however! A double-edged marketing ploy I fear.

I'm not genuine Irish by the way (as both my parents are English), so I for one have not come over to steal any choral jobs!

Gadjo Dilo said...

As long as the Dean doesn't make you sing Danny Boy at every evensong. Ah, good to hear that Felicia is still around!

Can Bass 1 said...

Oh dear, Laura - I do hope I haven't given any offence.

Felicia is, as you say, still around Mr Diljo although she no longer features in my posts for two reasons. First, her mother is ill and she has withdrawn from the servers' rota for the time being; second, she was uncomfortable with appearances on the blog-o-sphere - she likened it to having strangers going through her underwear (whilst still in the drawer, she meant. At least, I think that's what she meant. I hope so, anyway).

Brother Tobias said...

I do so enjoy it though, when the hectoring Mr Paxman, in all his assumed omniscience, gives away the fact that he has no clue about the answer written on his card by mispronouncing it. Nice Bamber Gasgoine had so much more charm.

Lucy Fishwife said...

Where can one obtain a similar notice board? While it reeks of desperation, we may need one soon...

Doshea3 said...

Mr Can Bass, what do you expect us Irish enthusiasts of Anglicanism to do except seek employment in England's green and pleasant land? The few Anglican church music jobs in this country worth having are filled by Englishmen (and women!) who believe the Irish natives can't possibly be good enough to hold such hallowed positions. No, people like me are left to deal with Papists and Presbyterians. The Protestant Ascendancy hasn't gone away after all. Now they just import real British people. So I think it works both ways here. Several vicars choral in a certain cathedral near here are bona fide Englishmen. The swapping continues.

Doshea3 said...

O dear. I seem to be writing very short sentence for some reason. Hm.

Kevin Musgrove said...

I'll probably be corrected by somebody but I'm fairly sure that the answer to the question in your second paragraph is The Lamentations Of Jeremiah to the power of the square root of minus one.

Can Bass 1 said...

It is indeed, Mr Musgrove. Jolly well done!